New Year

It is a new year.  There is new hope and so much optimism. 
I can't seem to muster much of it right now. 
I have set my intentions and this first day of this new year was productive and relaxing.  I spent most of the day cleaning out clutter, preparing for the possibilities that are ahead. 

And yet, I am feeling nothing exceptional. 
I always do this.  Every single year.  I am completely open to possibility, but I don't really allow myself to feel it until the day has passed. 
I am still reeling from this past year.  Just because the calendar has turned doesn't mean that things are different.  All of the events and emotions  that haunted my last year still linger. 

So tonight my daughter and I set an intention to close our day with the sunset.  To stop, breathe in the end of the sun as many days of this year as we can. 

This is where I will set my intention.  With my daughter and husband and the appreciation of every day because I got to live it.  Even if it's difficult, especially if it's magnificent.

Finding my way, living this dream.  

The Good, the Scary and the Hopeful

What a freaking crazy week.  My emotions have been all over the place. 
From my best bud in town for a 24 hour visit, to the election~ so many emotions.

We were so happy to have had Lea here for a little while and we made the most of it doing what you're supposed to do when you come down to the Keys~ watch the sunset.  Unfortunately, the following morning was rainy and cold (for here), but we attempted to get outside anyway.  We got rained on....  

Then.... election night.  It required copious amounts of wine to get through.   I am still not sure it's real.  The rational part of my brain is still processing.  My heart is broken and I realize that a lot of people (even though I knew) leaned the other way and are oblivious.  It's like the descent and hate that had been spewed for the last 18 months is irrelevant.  That the rhetoric has no bearing or importance.   That the divisiveness was imagined and now... now they don't understand why we can't just get along.    When a large portion of those same people fought tooth and nail for the last eight years about EVERYTHING. 
I am uncertain about so many things now.  The results have provoked conversations and revelations I wasn't prepared to have, with myself and people that I love.  
And I had to tell my girl.  I watched her lose a little faith in humanity for the first time.
I am hopeful it will be restored.  Because that is what we do.  That is what we have... hope. 

To forget why we were so sad and to hold tighter to what makes us happy, Hubs, Coco and I took to the water for salt water therapy. 

It helped.  But it still hurts.  It hurts to know that we, as a country are now represented by someone who doesn't value all people the same. 

Instead of reaming part of the conversation, I am holding tighter to the people and things that bring me joy.   The beauty and the love are what will get fed in my heart.  There is no more room for hate. 

My energy is focused not only on my loves, but I'm also making room for more with Serenity Eco Guides.  We have a big project happening and should be announcing soon. 

Such a random mashup of photos and thoughts. That was my week.  This is my life and my truth. The good, the scary and the hopeful. 

Take your daughter to work day

Coco with my business partner at Bahia Honda State Park.

It has been so windy... for like 3 straight weeks.  Which means no time on the board.  

When your business is weather dependent this can become very tiresome.  

But today, TODAY, the sun was shining and the wind finally laid down.  

Coco and I met my business partner at Bahia Honda State Park.  We are the exclusive SUP guides and yoga instructors for the park.  Something my partner has been working on for the a couple of years.  

We blocked out our kids paddle class and rented a few boards for onlookers after the class.  

Thank freaking god.  

I know the business has serious potential.  But with all of the wind we've had coupled with the fact that it is slow season... well, I  was  kind of getting frustrated. 

Tomorrow the wind is supposed to pick back up.  But we had today and the promise of many more like it.

I was able to get outside.  Do what I love to do, with my kid and make a little flow. 

Doesn't get much better than that. 

Civic Duty

I am very political.  I don't wear it out loud for everyone, everywhere to see.  There are no magnets on my car pledging my allegiance to one candidate or party, nor do I post a sign in my yard. 
But it's there, the side to which I lean; the obsessive-compulsive need to check the news for updates. And I am guilty of choosing a news source that might in fact be a little biased.  I do however check the other guy's talking points on occasion.  And then I remember why I sit in the camp that I do. 

If you know me... you know.  We don't need to discuss it.  You either respect my stance as a right or you ignore it completely.  Why deal, right? 
We should stay friends. 

If, and only if, you let the cat out of your own bag I will either engage or pretend I didn't just hear you say what you said.  It's easier that way.  We both know it. 

But isn't that beautiful?!  I mean I really hoped we could have a little discourse.  Unfortunately, in the current political climate discourse isn't the result of honest politics.  Minds are not changed.  No one wants to see or even try to understand the others side or reasoning.

When he's feeling peckish, Hubs will play devils advocate.  It is quiet entertaining.  And on occasion I can see some of his points....  So hope, right?

There is humanity on both sides of the aisle.  I wish we all would remember that instead of throwing vitriol at one another. 

So.... thankful...
I got a notice for jury duty.  Honestly I was looking forward to it.  I was ready to do my civic duty.  But, alas, all cases have been settled so my appearance isn't necessary.  Bummer. 

Actually, I am pretty stoked.  My best friend is going to be in town for approximately 36 hours and now I get to spend time with her instead of participating in our fine country's judicial system.

#Thankful all cases were settled and I don't have to report on Monday morning.

Thankful

A few years ago I gave myself a 'Thankful' challenge via Instagram. 
I've written about it before.

It was life changing, and affirming and really helped me see the silver lining in everything.  I think that when I finished I had a more optimistic approach to life.  I tend to lean that way already... but the challenge made me accountable and an active participant in life's daily miracles.

Lately I have been hovering in a less than feel-good place.  It's not that I have really changed, but I am less inclined to reach for the joy.  I have been settling for less enthusiasm.  I have been okay with it.

Suddenly I'm not.  I want to savor the sweetness of my days like I did when I was working my way through the challenge. 

It's not as if the process offered exceptional opportunities for experience.  It's just that I paid attention.  To everything.  I was able to call into question where I set my intention. 
I would really examine the moments that made up that 24 hours and I would choose what moved me, or was inspiring.  And mostly the simple occurrences seasoned my picture feed.   But always at the end of the day I felt like I knew myself a little better. 

I want to get back to that place.  So, I am starting it up again.  Randomly, but thoughtfully.  Because it is something that I need.  And I am learning to listen to the things my heart, body and soul are telling me. 

I am going to try to extend upon that idea this time around.   I will still use Instagram and a daily photo as my main platform.   This time around though, I want to go deeper by bringing that photo here... with more. 

"Men argue. Nature acts." - Voltaire

***Disclaimer*** 

This is not my usual type of post. However, it is true to me. 

If you go back to the Earth's Lifeline days you can get the background.

The release of Before the Flood was yesterday.  Today it was streamed  free for anyone, everywhere to watch. It's that important.

I have long been aware of the impacts of climate change.  I haven't been wearing blinders.  My family tries to live consciously.  We made changes to daily activities and purchases a long time ago. 

The revelations in the film are not news to me.  But it was still necessary to witness again.

Due to the current political climate and blatant disregard by some, I sometimes wonder why I even bother.   It would be so much easier to not care; to live in the reality that our daily choices really don't make a difference in the big picture.  Or better yet, join those who wail against the science because they don't believe it to be true, don't care or are bought by others to stand against it.

Unfortunately belief doesn't isolate you from the situation.  Nor does taking money to cover your ears. The only credible effect is does have is to perpetuate the problem and freeze out solutions.

My frustration with those who do choose to disregard facts is not going to solve the problem either.  It breaks my heart to know that unless there is a major shift in conscious action (we are beyond just simply being aware) we are doomed to our fate.  

What do we tell our children?

Will we apologize for the lackadaisical attitude of our leaders; the elected officials who are the ones making the abject decisions, who are defiant against truth because it doesn't serve them.
They are parents and grandparents too.  I can't believe they are so heartless. Maybe some really don't get the urgency.  But that is not an excuse for the rest.

Today I am angry.  Angry because there have been viable solutions in the works for years, and greed and selfishness have won out.

But it's a war and while many battles have been lost.  It's not over.  There is hope.  And there is evidence.  The argument is over. 

I am taking that evidence and acting.
I will continue to make the choices that are beneficial to all and not just myself.
I will stand by those whose voices are loud enough that others listen.
I will not make excuses.
I will be an example.
I will no longer rage.  Instead I will work harder to educate, motivate and empower.
I will do all of this with love and compassion.

At the end of my days I will be able to tell my girl that I did everything that I could.   

Lately

Lately I've been trapped in this space 'between'.

Completely settled into stay-at-home mom, homeschool, gearing up for the next thing. 

I've lost the present. 

I want that mindset back. 

I practice. 

I breathe. 

I set intention. 

Now, now I'm getting anxious and fidgety. 

Now I'm ready to do. 

Today I refocus on gratitude. 

Because that... that is where dreams are found. 

Dreaming.