Fabulous Forty?

I made a commitment to myself, at the beginning of my 39th year.  I promised that I would step into my 40's stronger and healthier than I have ever been.  Not just within my body, but emotionally, soulfully and with focus on ambition (however that manifested).

I recommitted to ashtanga.  I have always kept the practice at the core of my yoga.... but I wasn't truly committed to the completeness of it.  I would let my lack of focus morph into abandonment and move into something else.  Still practicing asana, but not ashtanga.

Quality health has also been a priority, but like the yoga, I wouldn't fully commit to what it meant to be truly healthy.  And as age is becoming a reality, I felt I really needed to address it.
Who doesn't want to feel his/her best?  It is a pretty simple concept.   But my healthy, didn't leave me feeling very good.  I was accruing various issues and after putting my body in the hands of the trained professionals... I still felt like shit.  I absolutely knew there had to be a better way.... a more natural way.

Realizing that my kiddo is growing up as I am getting older hit me hard.  Who will I be when I'm not homeschooling, taxiing and feeding her on a daily basis?  How can I  still do the on deck parenting thing, while figuring out what I am going to be when I (ahem she) grows up?

Countless conversations with my Hubs (we are in it to win it) about where we are at, where we are going and how the hell we are going to get there left me with more possibilities and less focus.  
The future was closing in on me.  I yearned for more.  For something deeper and still more fulfilling.  And when I really looked inside, I realized I already knew what direction was next for me.
I am a teacher.  Once upon a time I was an English teacher.  I am a yoga teacher.  I am my daughter's teacher.  And as a teacher, I am always a student: in my practice, in parenting and in health and wellness.  By looking at what fuels my soul I was able to narrow down a hopeful future. 

So, I enrolled in the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. 
I am only a quarter of the way through my education and inching closer to 40, but now the path ahead seems a lot clearer.  I am so ready to share what I'm learning.  I am so excited to help people realize wellness, to feel and be healthy.

Forty is looking pretty fabulous.

Comfort Food

I have lived the life of a vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian and carnivore.

One of my fondest memories as a child was standing at my grandmother's hip in her kitchen.
While Granddaddy grew all of the the produce, she cooked, canned, preserved, prepared.... all of his labors. She fed me with the magic of her spatula and blade of her knife.

My mom still has the biscuit cutter my grandmother wielded, her wrinkled hands (exactly like mine smooth) placed over mine.

I can still feel the warmth of the light over the stove as she showed me how to slice the peaches and place them 'just so'.  I can taste the sweetness of the bubbly cobbler and it's still sticky on my tongue.

Toasted white bread with butter and bacon.  Leftover turkey turned into the salty, irresistible casserole.
Crispy fried chicken with her canned green beans.
Granddaddy's corn on the cob roasted and dripping with butter.
Her biscuits.  Dear god,.... those fluffy, buttery, flaky bites from heaven.
Cornbread in her cast iron pan.
Strawberries (from the garden) with homemade cream. 
She always had a tin of bacon fat on her stove top.  She seasoned everything with it.  Everything.

One time it snowed and she showed us how to make the snow into a creamy, sweet delight.

All of the fondest moments of my childhood are lit by the light of my Grandmother's stove.

And then we moved away from the closeness of everyday cooking with her.
My mom was no hack mind you.  Her cooking was more elevated, refined.... but still distinctly southern.
My dad, not so much.
Where holidays in Alabama called for glazed ham or roasted turkey, my Dad's family wanted Steak.

My dad taught me how to make London broil and bolognese.  And he loved spices.

It was a nice balance.  An adequate introduction.

By the time I was old enough to live on my own, I had a few (very few) tricks up my sleeve.  I went to my go-tos'.  But when I went home to my mom's I indulged in buttery delights or my dad and I would go out for a steak dinner.

Then I met my husband... a chef.  And he wasn't afraid of the simplicity of beans and rice or the decadence of foie gras.  (Ironically he was a vegetarian when we met... but trained in food he understood the value and beauty of cuisine).

My education continued. 

Now I am the one wielding the knife and creating comfort and sustenance for my family (with the occasional recommendation from Hubs).  But my approach is different.  I am focused on flavors and wellness, experimenting with ingredients none of my mentors have used before.

 I live to eat and love to cook and now I am learning what will create health and comfort for my family.
 Oh, what a journey this is!

Summertime Loving

I have become so settled in this life and it's rhythms, but now it's summertime and everything has changed.
Last year at this time Hubs and I were both working full time and we were unable to get her to and fro, and she wasn't able to participate in all of the really amazing activities that go on here. So, this time around we promised everything.... sailing, SeaCamp, theatre camp, Pigeon Key camp, extra swim practices and family visits.
It's all been a whole lot overwhelming, but she is having an super fun summer.
Mission Accomplished! 
We have also been able to go faster and further in the water thanks to Hub's boat project turned family boat.
Aaannnnd, I went back to school for nutrition.
It had been on my mind for a long time and life allows it now. Between taxiing Coco around, teaching classes 3 days a week, homeschool and picking up a shift at a restaurant~ I am now working may way to becoming a certified health coach.  Yay! Be prepared for a whole lot of health and wellness coming your way. :)

This Summer is (and has been) a whirlwind and I am secretly looking forward to the steadiness of school days starting in the fall.  But for now letting my kiddo stand out front and live the dream while I study between pick-ups and drop-offs is pretty fantastic. 

But now it's Spring

I wrote this post awhile back, but felt ungrateful, so I didn't post it.  But, it's me.  And it's my truth.  I always say that I will never feel guilty because of my happiness, 

I also won't wash over it when I'm not.   

 

When you live in the land of endless summers it's easy to lose the balance of the seasons.  There is no break from the positive and sunshine of the everyday.
While that is a beautiful existence... it is also exhausting.  Habits creep in.  Adventure becomes ordinary.  When everything is the same day after day... when and how do we reflect and reboot? Change allows for gratitude and motivation.  It makes room for more possibility. 


These last few months, I longed for  rainy days and good snuggles on the couch.   I craved guiltless lethargy. 
So, I created my own winter.  Staying in, baking.  Game night with the family.  Life was still busy.  But, I made an effort to slow down for the sake of inspiration. When we are constantly moving towards the next adventure or goal the present moment is lost.

But now it's Spring.  Time to plant new seeds.  Hope new hopes.
Dream bigger dreams and finally shake off the 'winter blues'.

And now.  Tonight.  After a day that has been completely filled, the rain comes.
I am in my kitchen (that Hubs built)  after finishing a family dinner I made from scratch, listening to the music of the rain on the tin roof of our back porch.  Hubs and Coco are in the living room laughing.

It is time to let go of winter.  
My heart is so full and happy.  It all makes sense right now.
We are making plans while living in paradise.
This life is magic when we take the time to let it be. 

This Yoga Life

There are days when my practice is two hours of sweaty vinyasa.
Sometimes it's the full primary series.

My yoga is time spent in the kitchen, slowing down the preparation of  meals for my family and myself.

In other seasons or days of my life the practice is a few sun salutations with an inversion thrown in.

It is conversations over tea with friends.

Last week, when I pulled a muscle is my back, it was a new, entirely different focus for a class that opened my mind to hopeful ideas and adventures on my own mat.

My yoga is the writing class I am teaching for my daughter and some of her friends after they have been running around our favorite park.

Today, it was leaving out chatarunga, but busting through the mind block I've had with jump throughs.  I had a completely different intention.... and then I had a break through.

This practice of yoga embraces sitting outside with Hubs overlooking the water at our favorite date night spot.

It's the dirt on my hands while I plant my sacred space that is filled with banana trees, coconut palms and plumeria.

It's the juicy indigo tomato I can't wait to harvest from my tiny patio garden. 

My yoga is the intention I put into the moments and breaths of everyday.

I am finally comfortable in this flow, in being completely present and full of gratitude while moving through life.

I am finished holding up the ideals of photo shopped Instagram postures.  I admire their magnificence, but I will no longer hold myself to a standard that is unattainable... out of reach because I am focusing on more personal, approachable objectives.

Tonight, my yoga will be sitting down to dinner with my kid, sipping a glass of red talking about our day.

This is my yoga.  

New Year

It is a new year.  There is new hope and so much optimism. 
I can't seem to muster much of it right now. 
I have set my intentions and this first day of this new year was productive and relaxing.  I spent most of the day cleaning out clutter, preparing for the possibilities that are ahead. 

And yet, I am feeling nothing exceptional. 
I always do this.  Every single year.  I am completely open to possibility, but I don't really allow myself to feel it until the day has passed. 
I am still reeling from this past year.  Just because the calendar has turned doesn't mean that things are different.  All of the events and emotions  that haunted my last year still linger. 

So tonight my daughter and I set an intention to close our day with the sunset.  To stop, breathe in the end of the sun as many days of this year as we can. 

This is where I will set my intention.  With my daughter and husband and the appreciation of every day because I got to live it.  Even if it's difficult, especially if it's magnificent.

Finding my way, living this dream.  

The Good, the Scary and the Hopeful

What a freaking crazy week.  My emotions have been all over the place. 
From my best bud in town for a 24 hour visit, to the election~ so many emotions.

We were so happy to have had Lea here for a little while and we made the most of it doing what you're supposed to do when you come down to the Keys~ watch the sunset.  Unfortunately, the following morning was rainy and cold (for here), but we attempted to get outside anyway.  We got rained on....  

Then.... election night.  It required copious amounts of wine to get through.   I am still not sure it's real.  The rational part of my brain is still processing.  My heart is broken and I realize that a lot of people (even though I knew) leaned the other way and are oblivious.  It's like the descent and hate that had been spewed for the last 18 months is irrelevant.  That the rhetoric has no bearing or importance.   That the divisiveness was imagined and now... now they don't understand why we can't just get along.    When a large portion of those same people fought tooth and nail for the last eight years about EVERYTHING. 
I am uncertain about so many things now.  The results have provoked conversations and revelations I wasn't prepared to have, with myself and people that I love.  
And I had to tell my girl.  I watched her lose a little faith in humanity for the first time.
I am hopeful it will be restored.  Because that is what we do.  That is what we have... hope. 

To forget why we were so sad and to hold tighter to what makes us happy, Hubs, Coco and I took to the water for salt water therapy. 

It helped.  But it still hurts.  It hurts to know that we, as a country are now represented by someone who doesn't value all people the same. 

Instead of reaming part of the conversation, I am holding tighter to the people and things that bring me joy.   The beauty and the love are what will get fed in my heart.  There is no more room for hate. 

My energy is focused not only on my loves, but I'm also making room for more with Serenity Eco Guides.  We have a big project happening and should be announcing soon. 

Such a random mashup of photos and thoughts. That was my week.  This is my life and my truth. The good, the scary and the hopeful.